breezy feelings ...

what have i become?what happened to me? where is my innocence gone? why are my eyes lost? what have you done to me? where did you take me? I am lost..

I feel lonely .. You stole away my life.. You stole away my purpose of living ..i have become a thorn today because of you. The air around me has the odor guilt. The body i am in has the fragrance of a lost spirit.I walk .. I am still walking .. I have always been walking... You came across and broke my ability to move on.I suffer.. I still suffer because of you. My eyes search for a glance.. My eyes search for a chance, my eyes are still and yet because of you, they have started to dance. I am a bird, a bird lost among the seven skies of life, a bird trapped in a cage of sadness, a bird stolen away from the beauty of my purity. I am a color, a color drenched in perfumes of blood, a color bleached to from another color, a color lost among all other colors. The breaths stuck in me, come out painfully every second. My heart hurts, my heart cries, my heart pains, my heart dies. What have you done to me? You disowned me from my own loved ones, you disowned me from my own kind. You pushed me in an ocean of insanity. You pushed me in a well too deep and dark to even find a ray of hope. I cry my heart out. I cry my eyes out. Why do you punish me to this extent?Was it my fault that i had lost my senses? I still think about you from time to time. Your lips that once drove my soul away, torture my every second of living. Your hands that once brought me to heaven makes my every second of living burn in hell. Your words that always reassured me, imprison me in walls of fear.

I have lost the child inside my heart,

I have lost the worth given to me by the Greatest of the Greatest.

I have lost the status of being the daughter of the wise and the grand-daughter of the honorable.

I have lost the pride of being the young woman that i am.

I am wrapped around a thick darkness of wound never to be detached from me.

I have lost the feeling of love

I have lost the sensation of a touch.

I have lost the warmness of a hug.

I have lost the purity of a kiss.

I still think of you.

I still think of the way you squeezed the tears out of me.

I still feel the way you implanted a river of sorrow never to be flown in me.

I was a gift, a prize, a beauty folded within the colors of nature.

I was the soil beneath a home.

I was the time that stopped for the lucky ones.

I was the princess of the clouds and the shadow of light.

I was the smile of a baby.

I was a mother's affection.

My tears are stuck. 

You have made life so hard for me to live.

I am a still rock, kicked and thrown away with the other rocks.

I ask God for forgiveness,

But i wonder,

why would God listen to what i have to say?

My punishment is a life filled up with wounded memories.

Memories that attract the salt of pain and anger.

I have lost myself...

I have lost my battle to live..

I have failed God's test..

I have failed myself..