To a best friend...

Where do you come from?

Oh You, Yes you!

You with eyes filled in passion,

You with glances of curiosity,

You with smiles of reassurance.

 

I ask myself,

Is it my dear luck,

or is it my dear fate?

That has introduced me,

To your kindness and love,

To the innocence of your spirit,

To the softness of your words,

To the gentleness of your soul.

I ask myself ..

Are you a friend of compassion?

Or a sister of unknown relation?

Or even a lost soulmate?

I am honored,

I am proud,

I am lucky,

To have you.

You are a fulfilled promise,

You are a crystal that shines through the stones of friendship,

You are the moon that gives light to darkness.

You are the hope given to those who have lost,

You are the beat of all hearts,

You are the rose among thorns.

You are beauty within simplicity,

You are the queen of worth,

You are the dream of fantasy.

You are the sweetheart of nature,

You are the color of whiteness,

You are the gift called as priceless,

You are the child of kindness.

I still do ask myself..

Is it my dear luck,

Or is it my dear fate?

That God has given me the most special of all angels..

To soso.

Feelings stuck deep inside one's heart ...

I sit alone .

I am confused.

I am not happy.

The words won't come out.

A force is pushing on my hand.

I am surrounded by a layer of guilt.

I was once an innocent child.

I was once the charm of my father's soul.

I was once a pure taste.

I was once the song of silence..

I weep.

I cry.

I am alone.

I have no purpose in living.

People say that i have always lived in depression.

People blame me for surrounding my innocence.

People say that i have to move on.

Why move on when time has stopped?

Why move on when an eternity of tears is building up?

Why move on when wishes of hope and dreams of reality have been shattered?

The glass within my soul has been broken to pieces.

I can still feel the blood oozing out of my skin.

The pain is still here.

The pain of tears.

The pain of your carelessness.

The pain of your ignorance.

The pain of your selfishness.

The pain of your avoidance.

Your silence of hatred has put me in rhymes.

I cannot stop thinking about you.

I have no feelings for you.

I hate you.

I have dreams of you.

I have nightmares of you.

Who gave you the right, 

To snatch away my rights.

To let me suffer in insanity?

To bring me to the borders of life?

To bring me to the edges of death?

I have lost myself.

I say it over and over again.

I have lost myself

To all those who are in love ..

Someone has entered my life,

Someone has stolen away this heart of mine,

Someone has showed me a different meaning to life.

I write this to you,

I wish you can hear me,

I whisper to you...

You are the person i have been waiting for,

You are the person i have been searching for...

I had once asked in my prayers,

For someone who would love me,

For someone who would make me fly,

For someone who would give me my value,

For someone who would be the reason of my every smile.

I had once asked the clouds,

I had asked the skies,

I had asked the flying birds,

If they had caught sight of your eyes...

I walked through mountains of feelings,

I questioned the trees for meanings,

I lost myself in dreams,

I engraved myself in frames,

To find myself one day with you...

Having gained you has made me lose myself,

Having gained you has turned me restless,

To the point where my nights have become sleepless..

I sometimes cry,

Over the fear that your feelings might die..

I sometimes think,

Are you really the reason for my every blink,

Are you the one who makes me sink,

In a ocean of love that i am never tired to drink...

I love you from the bottom of my heart,

I love you and away from you, i don't want to part,

You are to me, the living in art,

You are to me the every beat of my heart.

You are the breath that i take in,

You are the myth that i break in,

You are the life that i live in..

You are the guardian of my fears,

You are the protector of my tears,

You are the fragrance of love,

You are the perfume of feelings ...

You are the sacred bond that ties my life.

Without you, I'd die,

Without you, I'd lose my ability to fly,

Without you, I wouldn't be the flower that i am.

I am here for you,

I belong to you,

My soul is for you..

I give you an oath,

I give you a promise,

I will love you for eternity,

There will be no else but you for me,

Through the easiest ways of simplicity,

Yours forever i will be ...

KSA_QUEEN18

breezy feelings ...

what have i become?what happened to me? where is my innocence gone? why are my eyes lost? what have you done to me? where did you take me? I am lost..

I feel lonely .. You stole away my life.. You stole away my purpose of living ..i have become a thorn today because of you. The air around me has the odor guilt. The body i am in has the fragrance of a lost spirit.I walk .. I am still walking .. I have always been walking... You came across and broke my ability to move on.I suffer.. I still suffer because of you. My eyes search for a glance.. My eyes search for a chance, my eyes are still and yet because of you, they have started to dance. I am a bird, a bird lost among the seven skies of life, a bird trapped in a cage of sadness, a bird stolen away from the beauty of my purity. I am a color, a color drenched in perfumes of blood, a color bleached to from another color, a color lost among all other colors. The breaths stuck in me, come out painfully every second. My heart hurts, my heart cries, my heart pains, my heart dies. What have you done to me? You disowned me from my own loved ones, you disowned me from my own kind. You pushed me in an ocean of insanity. You pushed me in a well too deep and dark to even find a ray of hope. I cry my heart out. I cry my eyes out. Why do you punish me to this extent?Was it my fault that i had lost my senses? I still think about you from time to time. Your lips that once drove my soul away, torture my every second of living. Your hands that once brought me to heaven makes my every second of living burn in hell. Your words that always reassured me, imprison me in walls of fear.

I have lost the child inside my heart,

I have lost the worth given to me by the Greatest of the Greatest.

I have lost the status of being the daughter of the wise and the grand-daughter of the honorable.

I have lost the pride of being the young woman that i am.

I am wrapped around a thick darkness of wound never to be detached from me.

I have lost the feeling of love

I have lost the sensation of a touch.

I have lost the warmness of a hug.

I have lost the purity of a kiss.

I still think of you.

I still think of the way you squeezed the tears out of me.

I still feel the way you implanted a river of sorrow never to be flown in me.

I was a gift, a prize, a beauty folded within the colors of nature.

I was the soil beneath a home.

I was the time that stopped for the lucky ones.

I was the princess of the clouds and the shadow of light.

I was the smile of a baby.

I was a mother's affection.

My tears are stuck. 

You have made life so hard for me to live.

I am a still rock, kicked and thrown away with the other rocks.

I ask God for forgiveness,

But i wonder,

why would God listen to what i have to say?

My punishment is a life filled up with wounded memories.

Memories that attract the salt of pain and anger.

I have lost myself...

I have lost my battle to live..

I have failed God's test..

I have failed myself..